• B U R N , B A B Y , B U R N•
It's difficult explaining what type and kind of pain fibromyalgia and nerve damage bring. It's even harder trying to explain the concept of chronic pain to someone who is able bodied.
I've always been an active yet clumsy child. I grew up doing competitive gymnastics and would always be covered head to toe in bruises. Other than for a couple of surgeries when I was between 2 and 5 , I would say I was quite healthy and fit growing up, other than for back pain caused by a disproportionate chest. After gymnastics, I moved on to dance, rugby, kickboxing, , cheerleading and many other incredibly physically active past times.
I was injured in the military with a hip dislocation, torn hamstring and nerve damage in my dominant hand. This seems to be the physically stressful event that may have activated my fibromyalgia. These past few years, I am finding myself much more in pain. It's not a pain like you've stabbed your toe, but more like the ache of two days after an intense workout , constantly , with additional burning even in my extremeties. It feels like there is an incredibly amount of pressure applied to my nerves all while they are on fire.
If you meet me in person, you'll often notice I am wearing looser fitted clothing. Tight clothes, especially jeans, exarcerberate my chronic pain and it feels as if i am being attacked by a million tiny ants all while losing all strenght in my legs. It feels like a special kind of hellish chicken pox.
Not only am I in constant pain, but my natural clumsiness has increased tenfold. Sometimes I can't tell the difference between hot and cold , making it difficult when things are TOO hot and I don't realized I've been burned, or I lose all feeling at the tip of my fingers. This makes for a lot of broken mugs and plates! I sometimes struggle with opening jars because my fingers will feel inflammed , can't be standing for longer than a certain amount of time and am exhausted after only being out for a few hours.
Chronic pain and illnesses are valid and real, even when you can't see them. Support your local spoonies <3 (2)